Life moves so fast, that you can look around and see people around you are achieving and wondering why you are not achieving the same thing.
You might start saying "I'm not good at that."
And you start believing a lie.
What can you do to stop this?
Stop comparing yourself to others. I know this is easier said than done.
Stop saying you aren't good at something. Start finding what you are good at.
Sure, some people have a certain gift or quality, but they have to work at being better at it.
You have gifts and qualities too. We can't all be the same, the world would not work right.
It is easy to focus on the negative and ignore the positive, so make an effort to start focusing on your qualities. YOU have many. Your are beautifully and wonderfully made. You have a purpose, likely many.
Learn ways to quit the perfectionist mindset. We can be good at things and not be perfect.
When you look at a picture that seems so perfect, realize that it's actually not perfect, but the person captured a perfect moment in time.
It takes time and practice to get good at things, anything you decide. I have a few small examples of things I got good at that truly was horrible at:
Makeup: I never wore makeup, all my life. When I did a couple of photo shoots in my 50's (also for the first time in my life) I relied on others to do my makeup for me.
I said "I'm not good at that."
But over time I got tired of relying on others and learned how to do it. I'm not perfect by a long shot, but I've learned simple things that I like that don't take too long. I refuse to spend an hour putting on makeup, but I've learned to do a few things in about 10 minutes. I have my system, and it works for me. It took me a few years to get that system down.
Hair and Lashes: I did the same thing with using a curling iron and straight iron, as well as putting on strip lashes. It took me a few years.
Pictures and Selfies: It took me years of practice doing this nearly daily, probably almost a decade now.
I'm not perfect at any of that, but I felt I got good enough to do things on social meda.
Oh, by the way, social media is by far one of the things which make you feel inadequate. It's designed to do so. While it might be a great way to connect with people I'm not sure it's worth it. I can tell you I'm a much happier person since I left big tech social media. Recently I've tried LinkedIn but I'm actually going to get off that now as well, at least from posting daily because the feed there is tiresome and it seems biased.
Technical skills: I'm not gifted with being good at anything technical. People thought I was good with social media, but it's just that I put a lot of effort in every day for so many years. I'm not on the big tech social media anymore, but the skills will serve me for life.
It's the same with my computer skills. I'm actually not gifted with those skills either. Lately, I decided to take up those skills again by taking college Mechatronics and IT courses. It's hard for me, but I'm doing it!
Becoming a good student: I've never been an A student, it's not that I didn't work hard, it's just that it seemed I wasn't good at it. Well, here I am at 60 and getting straight A's and on honor roll for the first time ever starting in my late 50's.
It's not a gift, it's just grit and brushing aside the negative thoughts and doing everything every day even if I don't feel like doing it. Even math!
Physical Fitness: I'm not even gifted with physical fitness, I just started when I was 19 and I'm 60 now and I never gave up doing something nearly every day. I was a total clutz at many things including running. I'm still probably a clutz at some things, but I've had my days in the gym over the years where people said I was "In my element." They didn't realize that I "learned" how to be that over time.
I certainly wasn't gifted with law enforcement skills but, but I put my all in the Police Academy and for the last 14 years at our Sheriff's department when it's time to put in my time there every month, training and working patol shifts.
I'm not even gifted at being the best cook. Again, it's something I decided to learn how to do and although I've done the fancy complicated recipes in the past, my goal is to keep cooking in my life as simple as possible. I have too many other things to "not be perfect" at, yet are a part of what gives me purpose in life and keeps me from dispair.
It's okay to not be "THE best." I look at everything I'm doing right now and I realize I'm not THE best, but I'm MY best and I can continue to get better. I can continue to work on my "grit."
The truth is that none of us are really good at anything until we decide we want to be good at it and put in some effort to learn it.
Don't believe the lies in your head.
Quit comparing yourself to others.
Learn how to do some positive thinking. Yes, this is a learned skill too.
Muster up some grit.
Try some new things, take up a new hobby, learn a new skill, and don't say "I'm too old" or "I'm not good at that", those sayings are not allowed!
Find some things you enjoy to spice up your life. Realize as you pursue new things that some days are not fun and you will fail and feel like giving up. You will see others as better than you, and start wanting to believe the lies in your head
Quit believing the lies. Quit saying the lies! Just push through and realize you can be your own best, and you can find your own purpose in life.
Alright, back to my studies and hopefully a trip to the gym.
Cheers to being our own best!