Yesterday was our 31 year wedding anniversary so Randy and I took a little break and sat out in the hot tub and watched the beautiful sky with a glass of wine. I had already eaten all my calories way earlier in the day, but I had the glass of wine anyway and made Randy some delicious grass fed beef tacos.
The picture is from several years ago at Happy Island in the Caribbean, not yesterday!
I'm still sore from the hike earlier this week, since it was ALL HILL, ALL down, ALL Up, no flat. It's true DOMS and the ache is lasting a few days. DOMS can last up to two weeks and even if you don't feel the ache the inflammation can still be there. It actually made me happy because I have not felt that for many years. I do not get sore because my lower back and shoulder arthritis and sciatica limit what I can do. Even having activities limited, doing what I can do is good. It's worth it.
It's hard, because it's boring and tedious, but I can make it fun with music and looking in the mirror and knowing I get to keep what I get to keep. it's hard because I have to push through the pain of just being older and more worn out. I won't limit myself to what society says I should limit myself to. It will make me odd person out and only so many people will get it, and those few are who I will really connect with and that's A-OKAY.
I took my pictures in the 1st Phorm App, just like I ask many of you to do. I do it every week whether I like it or not because why would I ask you to do something that I wouldn't do? My life is full, just like your life might be full, I get it! And those who are able to keep up in the App, you are who get my attention because you are not making excuses and that means a lot to me.
It is day 136 in the year of 2021. It's 31 years of marriage for Randy and I. It is my 60th year being alive.
I don't know how many years now of college, anyone remember how afraid I was when I first started in my mid 50's or so? I'm not a full time student because my life is full of other work that needs to get done along with study. I finished my nutrition degree, and now I'm onto Mechatronics and IT because it exercises my brain, which will atrophy just like the rest of your body if you don't use it. It has the added benefit of providing employment that can continue to stimulate my brain as well as put some food on the table.
The biggest benefit is that it's sharing a passion with Randy, who is the most important person in my life. He's the one who was there for me all those years, when I was all alone and in a dark place he helped nurture me back to life. He helped by gently nudging me to be the best person I could be always, at work, as a person, and with my studies.
He knows all the dark places no one else can imagine, and helps me realize we must protect ourselves against people who harm us with their words and actions. To think that we don't need to armor up is putting our head in the sand. Randy pushes me to keep my head up and looking all around, and rolling up my sleeves to get things done. To be a warrior, one step at a time, up the continuum.
And besides that, if it were not for Randy I wouldn't have known these wonderful kitties to love and teach me about what is important in life. The local vet calls Randy the Cat Whisperer, because they had to catch these cats with nets and Randy brought them home and tamed them.
This is only 4 of our 8 cats! I told you, I'm married to the Cat Whisperer.
Many women over the years have told me they are envious of my marriage with Randy. I can tell you that marriage is a lot of work for both of us. Sometimes the load is even, sometimes one carries more for the other, and back and forth like that over time and seasons, not counting or keeping score, just working as a team on what needs to get done. We don't fight, we always think of the other, and we always treat each other with respect, but we've worked through a lot of hard times and crisis over the years. It starts with a choice. I had other options and I chose to marry this man a long time ago because I he was the one who was there as a true friend when no one else was, in one of the darkest times I've ever experienced. It turns out it was a wise choice, and so I will be forever loyal.
And the time keeps ticking away. The more years that fall behind me, the more I am willing to cut out time, thoughts, and things, that hinder my growth, happiness, and purpose.
I needed to make a bootable USB drive for a project and it had some pictures on it from 2010 when Randy and I went to Hawaii and I was 49. I was so not happy with my body. The picture in the upper right was when we finally took the first vacation ever where I ever felt good in a bathing suit, ever ever ever in my entire life at age 51. It was fun to put my back picture from the gym Friday night next too it.
Sometimes in the grind, we can be a little hard on ourselves, feeling insecure, inadequate, like we are just treading water, etc. But we can sometimes look back and see how far we came.
One of the most important things is planning and making certain things a priority. That is always a fight - What I mean by that is that it takes an agressive effort to plan and do what you want to accomplish, whatever it is, school, weight loss, self development or overcoming a problem with self help. You will have to push aside other things in your life and make the one or two things a priority. Once you do, you can keep it simmering, like I do with maintaing my fitness while college takes the higher priority.
I don't get to let the pot simmering there go cold, and I still have to stir it. I don't get to ignore it. If I ignore it and not give it a little stir at least once a day, I mean a real stir, not just walking by and saying I'll do it later, really a little action, only then do I get to keep what is simmering in that little pot.
Part of keeping the fitness simmering is taking the pictures and helping others do the same in the App. I have no time for the people who will judge me and think or say I'm vain because I take pictures. The pictures help tell a story. The pictures now will help me tell my story in the future. I love having pictures because they bring back my feelings and thoughts from the moment in the picture. Sadly, what I remember most is hurt and insecurity. See, we all have things to continually heal from.
I'm here if you want to let me know how you are doing. I know many of you are busy too, just like I am, even if it's a simple life, there is only so much time, never enough time.
It's time for me to head to the gym, grocery shopping and a few other errands, and study.
That's my life. It's a simple good life. I won't be here forever, but I'm here today.