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Can you gain weight by eating too low?

Yesterday I finally said goodbye to my mother in law, Sue Winter Saum. I had put it off, not dealt with it, you know, compartmentalized the situation.

Anyone else ever do that? It's a survival mechanism. Many of us who have dealt with tragedies and loss in life can do that without even realizing it.

As I was walking up to the church yesterday, I suddenly felt a wave of nausea. I was awkward in the social environment and felt like the biggest dork ever.

Randy finally pulled me aside and took me outside and we talked on a bench. He wondered if someone said something that hurt me.

No, sometimes things just hit us suddenly and it's time to deal.

I needed the ceremony. It was beautiful. I needed to hear the stories and the memories from others.

It's funny how you can drag your feet, not wanting to go. Wanting to hide. Wanting to compartmentalize without even realizing it.

At some point, you have to deal.

I needed the memorial service. I had no idea how much I needed it until it was over.

It was great to see Randy connect with people he loves and had not seen in so many years and listening to the stories they told when he was growing up.

So I came home and searched through my pictures until I found these of Sue and I. We took a trip to the Grand Canyon together 18 years ago.

We stayed at the Phantom Ranch Lodge for two nights and explored a couple of finger canyons before hiking out the third day.

It's a beautiful memory. No one can take it from me. It's mine and Sue's to keep forever.