This was the morning of January 13, 2015. I was still recovering from stress. The night prior my stomach felt like an endless void that nothing could fill. After the stress of the fatiguing day and a bit of extra eating we can still have this emotion or fear that we'll revert back to being over weight, as if it would happen overnight. It won't. But our emotions sometimes don't believe that.
I had spent most of my life hiding from the camera. But now it's kinda my job to show people I'm real, not a fraud, or to just be an example or make a point. Mainly the point of this picture was to assure myelf. I was still fatigued and feeling a bit insecure. I definitely needed the coffee I was drinking.
Randy always says he likes me best in my old jeans, with no makeup and my hair mussed up and flowing all around. So I put on the jeans I bought 4 years ago when I'd first reached my fat loss goal and lost 85 pounds. I was so happy back then and far more insecure about knowing if I could actually keep the weight off. So today I was putting the jeans on to assure myself once again that you don't gain 10 pounds overnight. Yes, the jeans still fit and actually yes they look pretty good. Not bad at all for a 54 year old.
In fact a person could over eat for many days. It's when you let it go on for weeks and months with no regard for limits that will get you into trouble. You can decide to stop at any time. You can decide you are not doomed because of a few ego depleted choices. Any time you want, just stop.
What caused the stress for me?
Randy and I work as reserve deputies for the local Sheriff department here. We got a call Sunday night regarding a situation up in Tahoe, California. We are both busy, but we knew all the rest of the guys were busy too and they needed a couple of us for the entire day Monday. Even though our schedules are busy, our work is more flexible than most so we said we'd do it.
Law Enforcement is a fatiguing job. There's a lot of gear to maintain. There's a lot of training and qualification to keep up on. There is an effort to be made for a high level of alertness. The situation were going into was potentially dangerous and not to be taken lightly.
So my plans for the next 48 hours were shifted. That alone can cause stress.
Randy took this picture of me towards the end of our shift up in Tahoe on Monday. We spent 7 hours walking around with all that gear. Just the equipment belt alone is 35 pounds. It was cold and we spent a lot of time speaking with people in the public and being on high alert.
It was a beautiful yet grueling day! I didn't mind that it was a stressful day. In fact I was honored that Randy and I were called to duty by the Sheriff's department. It's just part of the life we have chosen to lead and our choice to be volunteers for the Sheriff's department.